Old Folks
When I think of octogenarians, I think of comedy gold, which is why I am super juiced for Carl Reiner’s recently-signed, comedic novel titled NNNNN (even Woody Allen stopped being funny eventually, for the love of applesauce please give it up y’all, it’s depressing).

In the Vein of DeQuincey
Will Self signed two book deals: The Book of Dave (a collection of previously published short fiction) and a non-fictional book about London titled You Are Here (just like what it says on the maps sometimes).

You’re Matriculating Where?
17 year-old Harvard student Kaavya Viswanathan’s How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got In about how a “beautiful nerd cracks the popular kids' clique, finds her first love and figures out who she really is after learning that the HOWGIH (How Opal Will Get Into Harvard) plan she has been faithfully following since kindergarten has made her the kind of automaton that a Harvard dean looks down on.” Related topic: the dullest non-story ever continues to get coverage.

Young Adults
Bestselling author Kylie Adams has a new teen series coming out from MTV books, Fast Girls/Hot Boys, “the story of five ultra-hip Miami teenagers moving through life the only way they know how - at hyperspeed.” These are books you can actually read on ecstasy.

Deadly Combination
Edie Hand and music producer Buddy Killen combine Christmas and country music in the upcoming cookbook, A Classic Country Christmas Cookbook. Would you like some gravy on that Christmas turkey? It’s accompanied by a CD of country music stars singing Christmas songs. ($100K-$250K)

Religion
(Change title of book to capitalize on recent death, quickly secure book deal) Neal Goldstein’s Gonzo Judaism about “shaking up contemporary Jews to the rebellious spirit, raw emotion and unadulterated joy of their tradition” recently sold for under $50,000.

A recently signed book from Denise Roy has an awesome title: Momfulness, about moms and mindfulness (duh). (Under $50,000)

You Heard it Here Last (quick links)
Liz Grubman like totally invented hip hop.
Bush refers to Bartlett’s to impress those pedantic Euros (did any Frenchies make facile statements about freedom? How in heck do you pronounce Kaymuss?) and other dispatches about our innocent abroad.