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February 09, 2005

Kiefer Pt. 2

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The beats were so hep: smoking Lucky Strikes, drinking port, and reading Rimbaud while listening to that gone cat Charlie Parker wail on the old phonograph. Boppadeescatarat. They were the founding fathers of hipsterdom, the first to introduce Americans to the bohemian bourgeois lifestyle; what if somebody made a movie about those dudes starring Kiefer Sutherland and everyone’s favorite crackmama? It would have to be the realest, right?

Nope.

It starts out all right. The backstory has one Lucien Carr stabbing a dude because he forgot to say “no homo” before reaching out to hug him. Killah. He then emerges from lockdown to find his bird has run off to Mexico with the debonair junky Bill Burroughs (played by Kiefer). Lucien and Allen Ginsberg drive down to visit, while Bill Bouroughs is off to get some buttram leaving his baby’s mama all alone. Lucien takes this opp to rekindle a former flame, but sparks don’t fly as Courtney was apparently on an enormous amount of painkillers and her emotional range went from bored to sleeping. Given how annoying the acting and dialogue in this movie was, it’s no surprise Court would later bludgeon beatnik progeny in a New York club. Here’s an example:

Allen: What… are you staring at?
Court: The abyss.
Allen: You know… the problem with that is… if you stare at the abyss long enough it will eventually stare back at you.
Court: Yes.

Somebody please give that girl a microphone stand and some crack. Fast forward fast forward, finally Keifer shoots Courtney in the head. Does she die? No spoilers here dunnie.

Posted by at February 9, 2005 02:28 PM

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