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July 09, 2009
Alex i/r/t New Movies
ITEM:
DreamWorks eyes View-Master pic; In negotiations with Mattel to buy movie rights to the toy
Remember View-Master, the Fisher-Price toy with those little 3D picture discs of mountains, rivers and caverns that you could rotate through a viewfinder? Well, DreamWorks is in negotiations to acquire movie rights to the toy from Mattel (which owns Fisher-Price) and has asked Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci to do some "Transformers"-style magic on it.
Brad Caleb Kane, who worked as a writer-producer on the duo's Fox series "Fringe," is on board to write the screenplay. Kurtzman and Orci would produce.
--
@capsworth: For real? A forthcoming major motion picture based on... the Fisher Price View-Master? http://tr.im/rBmU
@capsworth: Also coming soon: A Candyland movie, a Battleship movie, and an Asteroids movie. And He-Man. And Thundercats. And Voltron. #notagoodlook
Enter Alex:
alex (2:39:28 PM): yo
alex (2:39:34 PM): re: viewmaster
alex (2:40:00 PM): play-doh fun factory would be a better analogy
http://www.dailydadvice.com/uploaded_images/play-doh_fun_factory-785575.jpg
alex (2:40:22 PM): you named a bunch of 80s cartoons that would be RAD movies!
alex (2:40:24 PM):
caps (2:40:35 PM): I wasn't making an analogy
caps (2:40:40 PM): they are all in development
caps (2:40:42 PM): check IMDB
alex (2:40:47 PM): you know what i mean thesaurus boy
caps (2:40:55 PM): I disagree
caps (2:41:01 PM): transformers is an abomination
caps (2:41:10 PM): they will all be equally awful
alex (2:41:12 PM): yeah... execution isn't the point though
caps (2:41:17 PM): I am tired of movie-ification
alex (2:41:25 PM): what the fuck is a viewmaster movie going to be about
caps (2:41:25 PM): you're right, it's not
caps (2:41:38 PM): it will be goonies-style, according to the article
caps (2:41:41 PM): Amblin-esque
alex (2:41:44 PM): that's why i'm bringing up another weird toy for a movie subject
alex (2:41:50 PM): that's all i mean by it
alex (2:41:55 PM): weird
alex (2:41:57 PM): goonies?
alex (2:42:11 PM): i WISH there were more movies as rad and original as goonies
caps (2:42:30 PM): amblin entertainment
caps (2:42:38 PM): made goonies
alex (2:42:40 PM): is go-bots next?
caps (2:43:04 PM): already happened
caps (2:43:04 PM): http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0376622/
alex (2:43:08 PM): the gi-joe movie looks fucking weird
alex (2:43:28 PM): haaa
alex (2:43:29 PM): lame
alex (2:43:34 PM): go-bots
alex (2:43:39 PM): micro machines!
alex (2:43:51 PM): super soaker the movie
caps (2:44:12 PM): lol
alex (2:44:14 PM): sentient super soakers from out space, burried under the ocean
caps (2:44:21 PM): dude, get rich with that!
alex (2:44:24 PM): for gazillions of years
caps (2:44:25 PM): ahahaha
caps (2:44:36 PM): one can be "hiphop," one can be deep-voiced and wise
alex (2:44:44 PM): the inventor of the super soaker was an engineer at JPL
alex (2:44:53 PM): literally a ROCKET SCIENTIST
caps(2:45:10 PM): saaaaaaaaweeeeeeeet
alex (2:45:17 PM): yep
alex (2:46:35 PM): i want a sanrio / japanese erasers-that-look-like-cool-stuff movie
alex (2:46:54 PM): saving kids homework from spelling and math mistakes
caps (2:48:14 PM): aaaaaaaahahahahahaha
caps (2:48:15 PM): YESSSSSSSSS
caps (2:48:19 PM): Alex, you're HIRED
alex (2:48:23 PM): the antagonists would be a rogue crew, the ERASORS, who go and fuck with kids' shit, making it look like they turn in bad stuff... the ERASORS break ties with the good erasers and join up with PENS who cannot be erased to wreak havoc on the elementary schools of the world
caps (2:48:24 PM): we're gonna make a BILLION!!!!!!!
alex (2:48:50 PM): at least
caps (2:49:41 PM): dude I love that idea
caps (2:49:42 PM): hahahahaha
caps (2:49:46 PM): "ERAAAAAAAAASORS"
caps (2:50:29 PM): ok I wanna publish this
caps (2:50:32 PM): that is classic material
caps (2:50:35 PM): Y/N
alex (2:50:39 PM): do what you gotta do
caps (2:50:45 PM): it is better than lute music, even
alex (2:50:50 PM): ha
alex (2:51:00 PM): you need to rock some Jethro Tull
caps (2:51:08 PM): I am thick as a brick, homie
alex (2:51:15 PM): ha
alex (2:51:33 PM): here's another blockbuster concept
alex (2:51:42 PM): Paper vs Plastic!
alex (2:51:57 PM): what happens when the lights go out at the super market?
caps (2:52:34 PM): OH HELL YEAH
alex (2:53:35 PM): in the sequel, paper and plastic team up to destroy the world and a small band of CANVAS TOTE-BAG rebels comes on the scene after the BAGOCALYPSE to save the world
caps (2:53:51 PM): Tagline: "CHOOSE WISELY"
alex (2:54:03 PM): BYOB
alex (2:54:11 PM): Bring Your Own BAAAAAGGGG!!!!!!
alex (2:54:26 PM): *booming movie trailer voice*
caps (2:54:52 PM): SOLD
alex (2:55:08 PM): we're better than homer simpson at the movie studio
alex (2:55:21 PM): even better than Cartman's Awesome-O 2000
caps (2:56:11 PM): you ain't lyin, brother
alex (2:57:55 PM): there can be rad evil side characters like those plastic 6-pack loops that birds and dolphins get caught in
caps (2:58:14 PM): MUAHAHAHAHA, I AM 6PAK
alex (2:58:36 PM): they'll get cut apart by sentient pairs of stock-room box-cutters
alex (2:58:55 PM): or those snips that butchers have in leather sheaths
caps (2:59:15 PM): who will be old and friendly
caps (2:59:21 PM): voiced by, say, liam neeson
alex (2:59:28 PM): ha
alex (2:59:45 PM): umm... those lawn chairs that never get sold on top of the aisles?
alex (2:59:49 PM): naww...
alex (3:00:04 PM): there would be a great roll for an evil styrofoam cooler though
caps (3:00:12 PM): yeah it could be real eco
alex (3:00:22 PM): oh! i know!
alex (3:00:30 PM): those huge burlap sacks of beans
alex (3:00:38 PM): old, friendly, warm
alex (3:01:20 PM): there can be a funny scene when the market is open and a hot Megan Fox character sticks her arm, elbow deep into the beans
alex (3:01:42 PM): and we hear a low, subtle MMMMMM-HMMMMM goran of pleasure from the bag
caps (3:01:47 PM): hahaha EW
alex (3:01:49 PM): groan
alex (3:01:57 PM): not groan
alex (3:02:00 PM): err
alex (3:02:04 PM): goran
alex (3:02:08 PM): nevermind
caps (3:02:16 PM): goran
alex (3:02:31 PM): then there can be the comic relief, rascal shit-talker types
alex (3:02:58 PM): those bins of chocolate covered pretzels, trail mix, ASSORTED NUTS... get it?
alex (3:03:23 PM): their bin flaps can flap around and talk shit and make fun of 'people' or other characters
caps (3:03:24 PM): hahahahaha
alex (3:03:33 PM): and they can get all mad when people sneak a treat
caps (3:03:40 PM): yeah cranky
alex (3:03:45 PM): they can snap their lids on the fat kid
caps (3:03:56 PM): dude you're killing it
caps (3:03:59 PM): PAPER OR PLASTIC?
alex (3:04:24 PM): there can even be an homage joke based on when Richard Gere snaps Julia Roberts' hand when she touches the diamond necklace in Pretty Woman
wcreeley (3:04:33 PM): wow meta
alex (3:04:40 PM): hell yeah
alex (3:05:15 PM): there can be the super-wise but extremely cranky-type old guy that everyone warns the young bags about
alex (3:05:29 PM): he's all dusty in a corner of the stockroom
alex (3:05:43 PM): he'd be an old shopping cart with those fucked up shaking wheels
alex (3:05:51 PM): but he's SEEN mad shit
alex (3:05:51 PM): you know?
alex (3:05:57 PM): he's OLD SCHOOOOOL
alex (3:06:07 PM): voiced by Nick Nolte
caps (3:06:58 PM): let's pitch this
alex (3:08:16 PM): ok I gotta pick up some shirts from the printers
alex (3:08:32 PM): AISLE BE BACK
Posted by caps at July 9, 2009 03:26 PM